I have two sick babies on my hands. One doctors appointment for today, and I’m sure another one later this week. Not great timing considering Everly’s birthday is this weekend. With kids I’ve learned that nothing is ever great timing. As soon as you take an important phone call, they will scream. When you sit down to eat, they’ll poop. When you lay your head down on your pillow to take a short snooze, they’ll bounce up from their naps. When you’re sick, they’ll be hyper.
There are losses that come with having children that must be acknowledged so new parents don’t feel hit upside the head when it happens to them.
You’ll lose freedom, time, money, sleep, friends (maybe even family), career opportunities, privacy, appearances (hair!), and at least a little of your sanity.
Part of parenting is letting go of these things and accepting them as a loss, occasionally grieving the absence. I truthfully believe sometimes the issue behind poor parenting is simply resistance. A choice of pushing against the current instead of allowing it to take you along with it. I sometimes see a parent doing this, fighting the process instead of letting it wash over them and create their new identity. Almost everyone struggles with it, but it seems sometimes the only difference between a parent making good choices and a parent making bad choices is that one of them let go easier and threw themselves into their new role – fear and all. If you don’t allow that natural transition to take place, I’m afraid you’re heading down a road of disappointments. Thankfully, roads can go both ways if you find yourself traveling the wrong way. Sometimes we just need a little help to get turned around. It’s never too late to be the parent making good choices.
And the losses are certainly minuscule in comparison to the gains.